Name calling & bullying
In first grade 7 was called “gaylord,” which is slightly amusing since the corporation has a major resort property here. When I asked him what it meant he said “lord of the gays.” When I asked what that meant he shrugged and said “I dunno.” What a difference a year makes.
7 and I were driving home tonight and he said the following:
“Gay. When a boy kisses a boy that is gay. When a girl kisses a girl that is gay.” he says. “Yes,” I replied. “That’s true.” I’m quite hoping at this point that the discussion is over. Nope. “Do you know what is so gay?” he asks. “At school today a boy and a girl were in a closet kissing. That is so gay!” he hollers, clearly losing his previously demonstrated comprehension of the concept.
“7,” I reply, “the same way that ‘retarded’ is unacceptable so is ‘gay.’ You cannot call people those names. It is hurtful and it is wrong. You shouldn’t laugh when the other kids use those wrong words.”
This is the best I could do. I tend to over talk and over explain, especially with this boy. How do you explain to 6, 7, 8 year olds that those words are wrong and maintain the expectation that they won’t use them, even in an environment where they are accepted and overused? How do you get them to take the ideals and princlples that you teach at home and keep them throughout the day? What are the rules of the schoolyard playground? What can parents do (working parents) to be pro-active in a school? I’m not sure that writing an email to the counselor is going to be productive nor will it make me feel any better, but perhaps that is where I should start.
I count on my ability to think quickly on my feet both at work and at home. However, I realize today that the politics and antics and wholly inappropriate behavior and language of second graders rock me back on my heels.
